The latest forecast for the short term future of our gas and electricity supplies, is a rise of at least 1,000 % over the next 5 years, the rise has apparently been brought about by the downturn in the UK domestic usage, due largely to at least half the population now using more economical means of heating their homes, coupled with an upturn in the use of low energy light bulbs, as well as an overall cut back in usage brought on by the current environmental issues, a spokesman said, the rise is unavoidable and will only go part way to keeping our shareholders on board, in any case he retorted; we will still be well below the forecast for council tax rises over the same period, which as we now know, are expected to rise to an average of  £1000 per month over the UK as a whole, in the next few years, this again was an unavoidable increase, brought on by the urgent need for all councils to bring the majority of their white collar staff up to executive status, as a means of guaranteeing them a living salary, once they reach the compulsory retirement age, which currently stands at 54yrs.

It was also reported that County Council communal showers, originally intended for invalid access, but found to be favoured by most office staff as a meeting place, after hours, will be fazed out over the coming months and replaced by proper sauna’s, which are currently on order from Sweden,