| Some home truths |
|
|
|
| Written by Stella Fairbairn | |
| Wednesday, 21 November 2007 | |
|
Well here goes, into the unknown, not wishing to be judged, but if you do judge me then you only have yourself to look at! ;) All things are relative. Touche, onwards and upwards! Let me introduce myself. I'm a survivor. Now I'm beginning to live again. Took me 38 years to get here and am enjoying the sunlight of my spirit. Recently I've been inspired by other poor suffering souls and now I don't feel so shy about "coming out" shall we say. What I mean by "coming out" is breaking out of my prison of unconscious patterns that I had no previous control of and to recognise that they don'tA serve my being anymore. Until I woke up! What a day that was? To see the unbounded potential of what I am in the face. Bit like meeting God, but have not been privy to that yet since I'm not dead, quite yet! Nearest I got to that was looking into my daughters eyes as they dragged her kicking and screaming out of my very comfortable womb. What a moment that was? I've tried to describe it but failed miserably. All I can say is that it's a bit like meeting God, and how the fuck do you describe that? At the moment of birth she was handed to me and she and I caught her vulnerable gaze that will be emblazoned in both our minds forever. A moment where you have to be there to experience the power of life and all it's miracles. Bloody scary at first, but now I've designed the roller-coaster, I can now ride it with pride and recognise the bumps, curves and loops and somehow they don't seem so scary anymore. I am the creator of this perception and this reality I choose to call my life. I didn't have any idea about this before and sat in my prison and whinged like a whinger from hell. My battle cries were, why don't they love me? where the fuck were you? why don't they take interest in me? why do I feel continually let down? Oh the familiar battle cries of an innocent child growing up in a war zone of a marriage where the two parents didn't share the same vision, in Belfast, of all places during the 70's. Double war zone! One parent escaped that reality in alcohol, my mother! And the other parent, my father, just escaped, big time, Mr. Absent we shall call him, that left me helpless in Jabba the Hutt's pissed stained cave all those years! Having made my relationship and marriage mistakes, all in the same ilk, what a surprise? Don't even consider marriage unless you share the same vision. My role models were shite but you don't have to make the same mistakes, No a child will not solve everything...it will only make your seemingly uncomplicated lives WAY more complicated! And even then, tread on each others dreams and shared visions softly. Tread very carefully indeed and compromise ALL the time, otherwise you really don't have shared unity and vision. It takes two people to come together to transform, but don't allow or even entertain the third party of your relationship to be evil, disrespectful or destructive. It should...God I hate the word should, but really it should be Harmonious, easy, peaceful and downright sexy. Even when the lust dies, you still need to admire, honour and love regardless x Honour, honesty and vulnerability are the three keys, for there you have true intimacy. And for all you scaredy cats out there, you really don't know what you are missing! Awesome and nothing like it. x Ok enough ramblings, you get the picture, now let's turn it into something positive. You know I've always thought of my ideal mate as my wounded animus. The wounded part of my masculine self that could come back to me to transform this toxic energy rather than to destroy it again. I still have the pleasure to meet such a brave and lost but compassionate masculine soul. I live in hope as ever. Always and ever shall be. Amen, so be it! Here are some of my favourite quotes of all time. i hope you enjoy them, get your ego punctured a little along the way in the journey to find out who you really are. x “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson, Nelson Mandela inaugural speech! "Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over ya!" Mae West. "Follow your Bliss" R.W Emerson "Imagination is everything, it's the preview to lifes coming attractions" Albert Einstein "Thoughts become things" Mike Dooley "I AM THAT" Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj "DESIRE, ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE" Stella Terrill Mann "Failure is the mother of all success." Ancient Chinese Proverb. “To gain that worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else”. Bernadette Devlin "He who does not understand astrology is not a doctor but a fool." Hippocrates "Music is evidence of the soul" My father, James Fairbairn "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" Mahatma Gandhi "Spiritual mastery requires that we have a high tolerance for being uncomfortable, and for risk taking and venturing into the unknown." Anon        |
|
| Last Updated ( Thursday, 22 November 2007 ) |
Quick Post
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
